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Maturity – A Greatness.

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Maturity. This is a word we hear so often, that now we have failed to even understand or comprehend the actual meaning behind it. And it happens. It is very common. The things we overdo, we often underestimate their worth. For example, when we consume alcohol too frequently, you cease to feel high. You get so much used to all this, that the actual essence of it is lost.
Now, this example might be slightly unfit to explain what I am trying to explain through this article, but that’s the essence of this article. You need to be very mature in order to understand this.

So, it all started when I was watching a web series. The protagonist in the series ends up with a job he hates and faces innumerable difficulties. However, it did remind me of the difficulties I faced when I first moved to this city for my new job. 

The people felt horrible, the atmosphere was suffocating and it was very difficult to adjust to the new culture. Believe me, as I was watching the series, I could totally relate myself with that guy in the lead. And while watching him, I thought to myself, 

Why the hell is he tolerating all this?

Why is he not retaliating?

Why does he have so much endurance, or better, how does he have so much endurance?

Well, after contemplating over a series of such ‘WHYs’, I sat silently for a few minutes and again thought to myself,

Didn’t I tolerate the time I moved to this city with a new job?

Did I retaliate?

Don’t I have such endurance or better, how come I had such endurance?

And again, I got the answer to this as, “Because you are Mature now.”

Yes, I was mature. Not too mature, I still am kiddish and stubborn at times. I am still immature about certain things and certain decisions and I am still not qualified enough to be as enduring as my mother, but I am far more mature than I was a few years back.

But, I feel, sometimes that we overrun the word ‘maturity’ so much, that we conceal its true meaning. Being mature doesn’t mean you don’t react at all to anything, but it means knowing well what to react to and when. 

How can you turn the tides in your favour, or wait for nature to do that? What you do amidst that waiting period, is defined as maturity. Assume you are on a boat surrounded by harsh waves and tides. What do you do? You still try to row it? No. That would be crazy, right?

Similarly, when we are surrounded by a situation which is totally unfavourable to us, we do not succumb to stupid actions by merely blindly retaliating or confrontations, but we wait. We must wait. We must be patient. 

It is only when we learn to wait before reacting that we become mature. So, maturity is nothing, but learning to be patient.
Patience is a virtue. And so is maturity. 

A person becomes mature not with age, but with his wisdom. And when you become wise, no one can really put an age-tag on that.
There is no prescribed time to define when a person becomes wise enough. But, it is only when we learn how to be patient is when we become wise. And only when we have patience, we become mature. 

So rather than creating a bubble of misconception around the phrase ‘become mature’, learn what is maturity, teach what is maturity and preach what is maturity. Our greatness lies in how mature we are and what kind of maturity we promote. 

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How deep is your Love ?

I do not exactly remember when and why I wrote this article. But today, casually going through the archives, I found this on my Drive. And while re-reading it, a thought came crashing to my mind like a bird crashing through an aeroplane’s engine – resulting in a blast and then ultimately, failure. Similarly, this article punctured my mind in a way I couldn’t bear. I have always advocated emotional and psychological faculties over the pragmatic ones, but today, I am at a place where I can not be emotionally available to anyone anymore. 

It is not because I have loved and lost, but perhaps because I do not want to lose anymore now.
This article, which was once written by me, is now helping me understand myself in strange ways. When I think and reflect on my journey so far, I feel why it is so hard and nearly impossible for me to be liked and loved by anyone or vice versa. But, this article gave me a reason. 

Now, I am not a feminist, not even remotely related to the term, but I believe this will help not just women, but also men understand why they are alone and stuck with the ominous title “single”. 

The reason is – Depth. The depth is not a metaphor here. It is real. Depth of your heart, your thoughts and your spirituality. The deeper you are rooted spiritually and emotionally, the more difficult it is for shallow people to dive deep into you or to let them dig deeper into them. And in my opinion one should not even try hard to do that.

The deeper you are, the harder it becomes for you to find someone who wants to have a relationship with you. You can go out on a lot of dates but at some point the relationship fails to progress any further and that is mainly because of the intensity of your depth. Not every man is strong enough to handle a deep woman and vice versa. Here’s why:

1. A deep person asks deep questions. A deep person will probe further into your life and ask questions that you may not be prepared to answer. They will never enjoy a shallow conversation.

2. They are honest. Too honest – often blunt. A deep person takes their integrity seriously and one thing they believe in is honesty.

3. A deep person knows what she wants. Or who they want. A deep person knows right away if they like you and doesn’t need to date around or explore her other options to be sure of their feelings. Their hearts only beat for a special few people and they know them right away.

4. They want a deep relationship. They want long conversations about your life, they want to hear stories about your past, they want to understand your pain and they want to add value to your life. They want a real relationship that goes beyond going out and having fun.

5. A deep person is not afraid of intimacy. They are not afraid of getting closer or risking getting hurt in the process. They don’t think it will entrap their freedom or make them vulnerable. Their depth and intimacy go hand in hand and they will always cherish the beauty of intimacy in relationships.

6. A deep person sees through you. They can see who you really are and what makes you vulnerable. They are not the ones to hold back from pointing out what they see in you or how well they can read you. Even though it makes you uncomfortable, they want you to know that they understand you and that you can be yourself around them.

7. This kind of person craves consistency. They get turned off by inconsistency or flaky behaviour. They desire a strong connection and a solid bond and they know that consistency is the foundation of that bond. 

8. A deep person is intense. They may be slightly intimidating because they bring intensity to everything they do. Their emotions are intense and so are their thoughts. They will never be indifferent about things that matter to them – not everyone is strong enough to handle their intensity.

9. Most importantly, a deep person won’t wait for you. They will not wait for you to make up your mind or watch you be hesitant about them. They are strong and passionate and will not waste their emotions on someone who doesn’t appreciate their depth. Even though they are looking for a special kind of connection and bond, a deep person is not afraid of being on their own.