Reality is defined in many ways by many people. But according to my definition, reality is nothing but just your mental makeup about accepting what is going on in your life right now at this moment. I, sometimes, tend to turn away from that ‘reality’. I’m sure many of us try to do that. We don’t usually accept something going on in our lives whole-heartedly. We mostly figure out ways to turn away from the reality and seek an ‘escape’ elsewhere. We go to happy places, meet happy people and do anything which can take us away from the actual reality.
But does it really help?
I don’t think so…because as soon as we come back into our normal life again, all those realities come gushing back to us. They come so fiercely that we often forget everything good and happy. The feelings which we know are true. So, realities of our lives can never actually be neglected.
So, why not we start accepting the realities? We don’t we just accept the situations or people the way they are? Because we are human beings. Small, tiny creatures in the universe and we don’t have that power to change all the situations in our favor. Neither do we possess the power to change any person. So, why even try?
As I have written in my previous blog, “Never water dead plants.” We waste 80-85% of our lives’ precious moments in changing a person or making situations livable. But I don’t think we succeed truly. Because a human being can’t be changed by us until and unless he himself is willing to change – not even for better.
So, in my opinion, rather than trying to change the unchangeable, how about we change ourselves? I am not supporting a total loss of our self-identity, but all I am trying to say is that why should we even consider changing anyone around us? It never ends up doing any good to us…
Personally, even I have tried my level best to change many people. To make them a better son, a better daughter, a better human overall, but it doesn’t work that way. That’s my realization after spending years of my life. Now, when I am 26, I have realized that I have wasted not just years, but the precious time which I could’ve utilized in doing something worthy.
Even if a person changes 0.01% for you, there are people around who come and say, “Don’t be a puppet in someone’s hands.”
Yes, I agree that you should not change according to everyone’s needs, but you should at least realize what kind of changes in your attributes will get you a more peaceful and happy life. Being stubborn and just blaming others for what they have done to you won’t get you any good. If you want to be happy and stable, you need to modify yourself according to the environment. For ex., when women get married, they change and modify a lot for their husbands and in-laws. But there is a limit to which they can change themselves. They cannot at once become Seetha from Geetha. That is just not possible. So, in that case, at least the husband or the in-laws should change something within themselves too. But, unfortunately, we live in a society where there are zero chances of that happening. Girls are always taught not to demand or expect anything in return for what they do. And girls readily mold themselves that way they don’t expect anything. But why does that have to be so?
But it really happens. And it happens because they are open to changes. They accept the reality of life and their present situation and change.
But that is wrong and totally against your own individuality. The motto of my blog today is just to say that one should accept and know the reality in and out. Changing will get us what and how. Unless, there is a satisfactory answer to this question, changing yourself or others is just as useless and stupid as wearing a helmet while driving a car.
So, kindly learn to accept the reality and then make changes in others’ and your lives. If the gut feeling says that nothing is ever going to come out of making changes, then my friend, that is the bitter reality which one needs to accept and move on accordingly.
Think about it !